What is sexist violence?

Sexist violence is any violence that women suffer on account of their gender. It is rooted in hierarchical relationships, that place men above women, so that as a result, women have fewer rights and opportunities. It affects women all over the world and occurs in all spaces and areas, that is, it is structural: family, school, free time, sport, public transport, music, films, social networks, etc. However, most sexual abuse is carried out in safe spaces by people the victim knows, and is expressed in a variety of ways: insults, catcalls, contempt, fits of jealousy, emotional blackmail, groping, physical abuse, cyber bullying, rape…

ENOUGH!

Signs to detect sexist violence

  • Think things over and be self-critical: have you or boys in your immediate circle ever behaved in a way that made a girl feel uncomfortable?
  • Have you ever humillated, demeaned or controlled your partner, date, ex-partner or any girl in your immediate circle (her time, mobile phone and social media, clothes, friendships…)?
  • During a fiesta, have you ever groped a girl’s backside, invaded her space or the space of a group of girls or have you ever treated a girl as if she were hysterical just for setting limits. Being a nuisance or a creep isn’t chatting up girls; it’s harassment.
  • If a girl tells you that she doesn’t want to have sex or to engage in a specific sexual act (having sex without a condom, group sex, making or sharing recordings, coming inside her…), STOP! Don’t use alcohol or drugs to get what you want.
  • Think about how your presence at night might make some girls feel scared and unsafe. Avoid these situations.

ACT!

Recommendations to fight against sexist violence

  • If you feel that you recognise yourself in any of the previous situations, if your behaviour has ever made a girl feel uncomfortable… drop these attitudes. STOP! 
  • Don’t make comments, catcalls, chauvinistic jokes; and if you do this in your circle of friends, STOP IT! 
  • Do not share or comment on photos, videos or any other intimate sexist digital contents among your friends. 
  • If you see any harassment or sexist attitudes in your group of close friends or immediate circle, act! Don’t be complicit! 
  • Alcohol and other drugs cannot justify anything. Don’t use them to pressurise or trick anyone. 
  • Don’t question, treat like children, or blame the girls in your immediate circle, and give credit to what they say and tell you. 
  • Question your masculinity. Go to masculinity workshops, reflect on your attitudes with your friends, encourage healthy dating…

If you have witnessed a sexist assault

  • Approach the woman, introduce yourself and ask her if she needs help. It will be up to the woman herself to decide if she wants help or not.
  • Listen with great empathy to what the victim wants to tell you (her explanations, her needs…). Don’t question what she tells you, or judge or blame her. Respect her wishes and let her know she is not alone.
  • Help. If she needs help, go to a quiet place. Never leave her on her own. Provide her with information or accompany her to look for help.
  • If you see any of your friends going to far with a girl, get help from the rest of your friends and get him to change his attitude. Do not justify assault!
  • Inform her about the helplines. Let the girl know that she can ask for help, not only if she wants to file a complaint but also if she doesn’t (female illegal immigrants have the same rights as anyone else). If she wants, you can call yourself.

IN THE EVENT OF A SERIOUS SEXUAL ASSAULT.

  • It is really important not to wash your clothes and body (mouth, genitals, other parts of the body…) until you go to a health centre, as this is how the removal of evidence can be avoided. In the event of an oral sexual assault, don’t drink or eat anything.
  • Try to memorise information about the aggressor (what he was wearing, where he went to…).

RESOURCES AND PHONE NUMBERS

IF YOU ARE IN DANGER:

SOS DEIAK 112 (24 hours)

IF YOU WANT INFORMATION/SUPPORT:

SATEVI: 900 840 111 (24 hours)
Acción Social (Social Welfare): 943 481 400
Casa de las Mujeres de Donostia (San Sebastián Women’s Centre): 943 483 470